This is an essay I wrote for a class in Spring 2017 about my experiences being called “high-functioning” as a student with a visual impairment and invisible disability.
Too High Functioning
The teacher is passing out the classwork for the day. There is a noticeable lack of large print or colored paper at the bottom of the pile. As it comes time to give classwork to my section, the teacher looks at me and goes “Oh shoot, I forgot you needed large print. Figure something out.” My best friend next to marks another tally on a list we call “times Veronica didn’t get her work.” In one class, we have over two dozen tallies.
I often leave the classroom to go enlarge my assignment, since I know that if I don’t, the teacher will give me a zero and remind me of how they wished I wasn’t in their class. Even though I have an IEP, and have had one since kindergarten for my low vision, that doesn’t seem to stop teachers from continuing to discriminate against me. I report this to my case manager or other staff member in the special education department, and they pretty much say the same thing each time:
“You’re so high functioning, it’s easy to forget about you!”
My parents and I are in an IEP meeting because I currently have a C, or a D, or a F in one of my classes. The teacher has repeatedly forgotten or refused to enlarge my work, saying it is a waste of resources. I have As in almost all of my other classes, Bs in a few of them. My parents are trying to figure out how an A student is getting such low grades, and why nothing is being done about it. But, by technicality, Cs and Ds are passing, and the special education department says that everything is fine, after all:
“You’re so high functioning, we have other students to take care of!”
I need some additional resources in the classroom. I try to bring this up with special education staff both at my school and at the district level. Most of my requests are ignored, because I shouldn’t need the help.
When people do appear from the district level, they are:
- Asking me questions about other students
- Strictly talking about other students
- Saying that I am an easy case, they don’t have to worry about much
- Reminding me that there are worse-off kids that deserve their time
- Telling me that I am wasting their time.
I realize that the only way I will succeed is if I figure it out myself, since they always tell me:
“You’re so high functioning, you don’t need our help!”
I’m a college student who is studying assistive technology and am waiting for a friend after a band performance. I’m holding my instrument, wearing sunglasses that block out the glare of the lights, and balancing my blindness cane in the other hand. While I’m waiting, a person I have never met walks up to me and starts asking a series of strange questions about my eyesight. They do not stop talking to me, and get frustrated with me that I don’t respond. Later on, I am told to apologize and answer their questions, and their response is almost exactly what I expected:
“You’re so high functioning, that’s inspirational!”
My typical response to people calling me high functioning used to be saying “thank you, and so are you.”
However, I recently realized that I could replace the negative phrase with a more positive one. Despite the best efforts of school personnel, I have been able to see past the negative circumstances given to me and still succeed in school. I have discovered my passion for assistive technology and helping others to succeed. My condition is a major factor in my life, yes, but it isn’t the only thing in my life. I am not just high functioning:
“I am high achieving.”
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